Better S3x Using the Five Senses
Hello Lover,
Did you know that you can enhance your pleasure and have more sensual S3X by engaging all of your five senses? By using all 5 senses, S3X is more than a roll in the hay. It’s pure pleasure.
(That's right - the secret to better, more pleasurable s3x is literally right below your nose)
Here's how:
The Set-up
Whether you're in a solo s3x session or you're with a partner, go ahead and take a moment and explore. Set the scene and set up the stage for having S3X, you know, put some intention with it, and engage all of your five senses. I'm talking all five senses, sight, smell, taste, touch, sound, we're playing to ALL of them. Are you ready?
Sound 🎧
Music - make your own special playlist to share together that, pick music that MOVES you both and speaks to you
Use your words: whisper sweet nothings in each others ear, get descriptive and tell your partner what you like about them or even what you you’d like to do together
Get your moan on: let your partner know just how much pleasure you’re experiencing, surrender to the sounds of S3X
So the first thing you may want to do to set the mood is put on some of your favorite music. I enjoy using Spotify and creating a playlist that I enjoy whenever I'm with my lover, we'll play this music as the soundtrack to our s3xual experiences together. It's such a beautiful thing to enhance the mood, especially when you select songs that really speak to you and increase the passion when you're together.
Here is the link to one of my favorite intimate Spotify playlists.
Music is one of my love languages, so I really encourage you to take that time to set-up a playlist that truly speaks to YOU.
So we've got sound covered, now it's time to stimulate our sense of...
Sight 👀
S3X is blind: play with a blindfold where you are taking away the sense of sight in order to more fully lean into your other senses
Eye Contact: establish a deeper connection with your partner through the window to your soul, your eyes. Maintain eye contact either with your partner or even with yourself in a mirror. Hold that gaze and let them/you feel seen in this moment.
Dress for the occassion: Switch up the nighgtly routine and wear something you feel s3xy in, get playful and take your time undressing, lean into the atmosphere
Get you Ambience on: Use candles or mood lighting to create an out of this world environment and amplify the vibe.
A simple way to stimulate your sense of sight is to experiment with a blindfold, so you have this sensory deprivation and you can tap into your other senses more fully.
And then to alternate this with using your eyesight and making eye contact with your lover to expand the intimacy. By connecting through our eyes in this way we are able to see into each other, to truly make each other feel seen in this moment.
If it's a solo practice, doing some of the central practices in front of a mirror, holding eye contact with yourself. So using the sense of sight to connect beyond the physical.
I also love to do the lighting in the room or by lighting candles or even I have a really cool, kind of a laser light thing that has these different colors and swirls of light on my ceiling that makes it almost as if the S3X is literally out of this world and I really love that.
It just creates a whole vibe within that experience.
That brings us to Taste. 👉 YUM! 😋
Taste 👅
Bring the Dessert to Bed: Have fruit or desert by the bed and take your time to experience the taste, feed each other and breathe in the taste and texture of the foods
Bring Taste to the Party: use coconut oil or flavoured lubes to increase the pleasure and add an interesting new element to your foreplay
S3X starts at dinner: Go out for a romantic dinner together and start the foreplay early, make eyes with your lover over a romantic candlelight dinner, touch their leg and plant to build the anticipation
I love to use lubes like coconut oil, so that's it's not a chemical taste or anything, but whenever I'm doing oral S3X or kissing and caressing my lover's body, I'm running my mouth or my tongue all over the body and having some coconut oil is great to stimulate that sense of taste and make it fun for everyone.
( ⚠️ NOTE: Coconut oil can degrade latex condoms.)
Also you can have nearby a plate of food, like grapes and strawberries and things like that to eat and to stimulate that sense of taste and feed one another and have it be a very sensual experience.
And then you have the sense of touch. The crowd favourite.
Touch 🙌🏼
Sensation play: Use a feather or lightly trail your fingers, play with alternating pressure and textures all over your body
Pleasure Mapping: find each others or your own erogenous zones, find the places on your body that bring you the most pleasure
With touch you can do a lot of things. You can have a feather and play with a light tickling or going over different erogenous zones on the body, like behind the knees, the nape of the neck is also really great for kissing and sucking or even the back of the neck.
You get to explore your lover and see what places are their hottest spots and how do they like to be touched there. You can do a pleasure mapping and start to play and share with one another, how you like to be touched.
You can even demonstrate and take turns and make it playful sometimes by communicating what you like.
"If you could touch me like this with this kind of tension"
Do it on their hand or on their arm or somewhere like that and show them and say;
"If you were to do this but with this kind of pressure, or this kind of light, sucking sensation, that would really drive me wild"
Bonus Round on Touch: 👐🏼
So then you get into the sensation play and you can even have things next to your bedside like some ice cubes, and use them across the nipples or those erogenous zones and then changing that up with the heat of your mouth and then licking and sucking on the nipples
FYI: Males nipples are amazing, too. wonderful erogenous zones as well.
Which brings us to the synergy between touch and..
Smell 🕯
Breathe it in: Take a big breath in, we humans emit pheromones, scents that may play a role in our attraction to one another - use them!
Get out the candles: not only do they provide great ambiance but certain scents tend to elicit a certain response, good bedroom scents include vanilla, musk or sandalwood.
You can even use candles, like hot wax candles, but be sure their body safe, not a regular candle. I'm also a nurse, I don't want you to have any burns.. so make sure you get body safe candles. You can play with that and put the wax on your body or your lover's body and have that sensation play as well.
Check out my favourite body-safe candles here
Whenever you're doing these things or these practices, you're just engaging all of your senses, creating more sensuality, tapping in, and feeling sensations on so many different levels and having the stimulation and it makes for such a divine experience.
And, the sky's the limit. Get creative with this experience.
When we're with a partner for a long period of time, we can get into routines with S3X and it can be difficult to keep it spicy. Sometimes what's fun the first few times when you're with a new lover is that anticipation, that not knowing what to expect right, so when you keep things playful and you're trying to learn new things and explore different things with your lover, then you're able to avoid that routine and keep the spice alive a little more.
And of course it's always so important to get consent with your partner.
Consent is not just s3xy it's required and consent is something that can change, initially a partner could agree to something and be a full yes and then at any time during the act, you can be a no and then you honor that no.
I often find it helps my clients to have a safe word for example:
💚 green is go
💛 yellow slow down,
🔴 red is stop.
Those are fun things to explore and if there's something you want to explore with your partner just talk to them about it, before you even enter the bedroom,have a conversation about it.
You can even say, if you're not a full yes to it, then lean into it being a no and just table the idea for a bit, and then you can return to it later. Or if it's a definite no, then respect your partner and don't bring it up again because you don't want them to feel guilty or pressured into trying something because it can build resentment.
I just want to encourage you to explore things, to try new things, to keep that passion alive, and to make love with all of your senses, and to play with that.
To recap - there are so many beautiful things you can try; with touch, with your sight, with sounds, like music or hearing the sound of your lover moaning, saying sweet nothings into each other's ears, and giving, loving affirmations to one another, it can be so s3xy and very intimate. And then to get the sense of taste on top of everything your hearing and experiencing, all of these things together, they are so powerful.
Reminder: this does not require you to have a partner, Tantra is something that can be a solo practice initially, and even times when your lover may be out of town or you just have some time for yourself, that's okay too and you can experience amazing pleasure rituals on your own. Pleasure is not something we just do with a lover, it is something that we can do for ourselves, as amazing self-care and self-love.
If you have any questions please hit reply to this email and let me know, I would love to see what questions you have.
I am currently creating an introduction to Tantra course… so just hit reply if you're interested in that, so I can be sure and save you a spot in the waitlist for when it launches.
I'd love to share more with you and if there's any questions that you have about Tantra or that you're wanting to explore - don't hesitate to let me know and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Have a magical, magical week
Dominique xx