Why Eye Contact Makes Sex Hotter
The eyes are the windows to the soul. So why is it so difficult to make eye contact with another person when we’re nervous, scared, or intimidated?!
Direct eye contact is awkward for most of us. It can be uncomfortable to deeply into another's eyes for even a brief moment — stranger or lover. But eye contact makes sex hotter, and it’s a powerful way to connect with your partner and increase your concentration, lower your anxiety, and amp up your orgasms.
Eye gazing is a fundamental Tantra practice taught around the world. When done right, it's a technique that leads to deep intimacy and profound experiences. Whether you’re making eye contact during a job interview, a casual conversation, or even sex: we know humans respond powerfully and positively to eye contact.
How do you feel when someone looks directly into your eyes? Are you excited, or do you feel self-conscious, vulnerable or shy? Whatever you feel, you aren’t alone — we can feel a ton of different things while making eye contact.
Allowing ourselves to be seen is a brave step that helps us connect to others, especially during sex. But the fear of intimacy can make it almost impossible to look into a lover's eyes intensely for a prolonged period.
We often care more about how our partners "see" us and waste time and energy attempting to "hide" our true selves. What if you opened yourself up to be seen, and in turn saw others? Imagine what you would learn about yourself. What could you discover, notice, or see in your partner for the first time? What would you see reflected back to you?
The answers are in your lover’s eyes. Try eye gazing for better sex!
Technique: Look Deeper.
Your goal is to see beyond your lover’s eye color or facial features. Gaze past the eyes and into your lover's soul. Remember, this can be challenging and takes practice!
Face your partner in an open and relaxed position (you can do this standing, seated or in Yab Yum position).
Be sure your energy centers or chakras are aligned.
Gaze primarily into one another's left eye, which is the receiving eye.
Blink if you need to and allow your eyes to relax. Remember, this is eye gazing, not a staring contest!
Tips
If you get distracted, just gently return to gazing.
Shift your focus from the act of "looking" to relaxing into "being seen."
Remain receptive, so that you allow yourself to be seen deeply by your lover.
Melt deeply into connecting with your partner.
Notice your body's response (squinting, facial tension, lips trembling, coughing, shifting your body).
Notice any feelings that arise (embarrassment, fear, love, attraction, desire).
With practice, it will be easier for you to remain still.
Advanced technique: Match your breathing with your partners, as you both gaze into each others’ eyes.
Solo practice: Fix your gaze on a candle flame for several minutes. This is called Tratak, a meditative practice that will help you develop concentration and focus. It allows you to exchange intense eye gazing with a partner.
Did you like this blog post? Send it to your lovers and friends! Forward this post or the video below on intimacy, eye gazing, and soulful connection.