You Don't Need a Partner for Tantra
Hello Lover,
Today I want to share with you how Tantra can impact your s3x life, and create more intimacy and connection and pleasure in your love life.
You know, a lot of times, there's such a misconception with Tantra that you need a partner to begin, that's not true.
Initially, it begins with you.
You can learn Tantra as a solo practice, and that will enable you to have better skills for deeper intimacy, you will discover amazing self-pleasure practices so that you become your own best lover, and that helps you also become a better lover.
I was reflecting the other day how so often in our society we're looking for a soulmate or wishing for a deep partnership with beautiful connection and intimacy, I know many of my clients will share this with me. The challenges of just superficial relationships and not finding that soul match partner. What I want to share with you and expand upon is how Tantra actually gives you the tools on how to have soulful sex. To me, it's just as Marvin Gaye sings about s3xual healing, you're able to connect so deep to a partner, it's like you're making love to their soul.
Now, if we look back at how we've learned things about s3x and you circle back to your high school days, whenever s3x is spoken about, there's so much shame around it, we talk about abstinence and we create it like this taboo topic. So then, when we're finally able to enjoy our s3x lives, we still can often carry that shame from that programming from when we're younger. Nobody educates us on how to experience pleasure and have s3x powerfully and beautifully to connect more deeply within ourselves and with a lover.
And once we know how to connect deeply, to ourselves and others we find ourselves in a place where we just feel like we are making love to the world. Being in this body and moving through these spaces from this context, we're able to have such a powerful expression of ourselves.
However, if we look back when we first started trying to learn about s3x it's normal to really talk about it, we would often turn and look at p0rn, to figure out what to do during s3x and we forget that p0rn is still just acting.
I think a lot of these scenes in the p0rn should have, you know, a disclaimer of "Do not try this at home".
One of my good friends is a very successful p0rn star and has been in the industry for decades and has been in the Hall of Fame for p0rn and she shared with me that "when she goes to work she does not view that as s3x". She calls it cardio with penetration.
Even p0rn star's are not considering what you're seeing them feel as being a s3xual act, it's just not a s3xual experience for them. When I introduced her to her current husband, the dating advice I gave him when they met was: "Whatever you do when you're with her, do not have s3x with her like you've seen in p0rn".....
This is important because if we initially, in our education about s3x, have shame about it, when we start our self-discovery adventures by looking at p0rn and things like that, or getting caught up, (I know that I got caught up) with Cosmopolitan magazine saying all these different positions etc then we get caught up in the acrobatics of s3x, or the performative aspects of s3x and then we end up having s3x on a superficial level.
If even, in the most intimate moments with s3x, if we can only approach it from a superficial space, then that would make so much sense as to why our relationships can often be superficial. If you want something that's soulful, you want a soulful connection, then you need to look deeper, to apply the transfer of skills and techniques and practices, to transcend beyond learning it or reading about it in a book and instead embodying Tantra as a way of life. By living it in the way you show up in the world, not just in the bedroom but outside of the bedroom as well.
Whenever you're able to do this, you're actually able to have s3x with someone's soul.
And when we're able to be centered and intimate and, you know, have that connection with a lover, on a soul level, to experience pleasure on this deep level, we're really allowing that person to fully see us, we're working through our intimacy blocks, we're dropping our walls, our masks and we're really showing up fully, in our fullest expression, authentically, and allowing ourselves to face that fear of vulnerability and allow ourselves to fully be seen and to fully see the other.
That's when we're able to develop a soulful relationship.
We look at s3x as this thing that is so performative, and we forget to that we have the option to slow down the experience, to take more time, create more space, to experience more pleasure and not be so focused on the goal, instead of goal-oriented s3x, we're really focusing on enjoying the journey. It's just like when you're reaching any goal in life; whenever you're manifesting something you don't want to get so hung up on the destination, part of life is enjoying the journey.
This holds true whether you're inside or outside the bedroom.
Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the intimacy. Enjoy all the sensations.
Our bodies are wired to experience amazing levels of pleasure. It doesn't always have to be about the erection or this or that, or how many orgasms. It can simply be "How much pleasure can we share? how much intimacy can we share?"
In just having that connection and feeling that energy by
Eye gazing
Matching our breath and breathing deeply within our partner
Allowing ourselves to be held, or to hold our partner
Massage using conscious touch
There's so many things available for you, where you can take things to a deeper level.
Once you're ready to face whatever fears you're having or intimacy blocks that may be showing up for you so that you can experience pleasure beyond your wildest dreams that will transcend anything you ever thought possible.
It's not like anything you could ever see on a movie set, it is so much more powerful and it literally changed my life.
I'm so thankful for you being here a part of my newsletter community I'm so thankful to be able to share with you, I'm going to be creating more things on my Youtube as well.
And I'm going to be sharing a little racier information here also, because social media platforms are restricting what s3x-positive accounts are able to share. So this is a safe space where I can share with you openly and if you have any questions or there's a topic that you would like me to cover, just send me an email. I reply to all my emails and I love answering your questions.
And if you feel like something that I'm sharing would be of value to one of your friends or to a lover, please share it with them.
And lastly, I just want to let you know I'm sending you so much love. If nobody has told you today that they love you, I love you. Tomorrow, be sure you tell yourself that you love yourself, look in the mirror and say "I love you", make a habit of doing that. Don't avoid mirrors, anytime you see a mirror just say "I love you". Give these love notes to yourself, self-love is so powerful and is a big part of Tantra. Pink Tantra focuses on self-love and the heart chakra and so there's so much healing here, the more we can deeply love ourselves, the more we're able to love another deeply, to give unconditional love. Not that we shouldn't have boundaries, we need to have healthy boundaries, but loving from a space of not wanting to have ownership or possession or expectations, "I'm just doing this for you so you can do this for me", you know just from a space of being open and being loving and having compassion for those around you.
I'm so glad that you're here and I hope that you're having a magical, magical day.
Blissings & blessings, everyone.
Dominique x