Healing the Mother & Father Wound: Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Cycles
LOVE is a sculpture by Alexandr Milov depicting the conflict between a man and a woman, as well as the contrast between outer and inner human nature. The figures, made of metal cages, enclose their inner selves—transparent children reaching out to each other. As night falls, the children begin to glow, symbolizing purity and sincerity that reconnects people in dark times.
📸 Photo by Lung Liu (2015) | Source: Burning Man
Why We Keep Repeating the Same Patterns in Relationships
Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners, struggle with intimacy, or feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells in relationships? These patterns don’t happen by accident. They’re deeply rooted in childhood experiences—specifically, the wounds we carry from our earliest caregivers.
In my journey of healing through Tantra and deep inner child work, I discovered a surprising fact: Over 95% of adults received inadequate parenting. Let that sink in. Most of us were raised by parents who, despite doing their best, were operating from their own unhealed wounds, passing down generational trauma without even realizing it. Healing these wounds isn’t about blaming our parents—it’s about reclaiming our power and breaking free from unconscious cycles.
Understanding the Mother & Father Wound
Our earliest relationships set the foundation for how we experience love, safety, and belonging.
The Mother Wound is tied to how we receive love, nurture, and emotional safety.
The Father Wound influences our sense of security, confidence, and trust in the world.
When these wounds go unhealed, they can show up in every aspect of our adult lives, from romantic relationships to our self-worth and ability to feel safe in our body.
The Mother Wound: Struggling to Feel Enough
If your mother was emotionally unavailable, overly critical, or unable to meet your needs, you may struggle with:
People-pleasing – Prioritizing others to feel worthy of love.
Fear of abandonment – Feeling anxious when someone pulls away.
Self-worth struggles – Never feeling “good enough.”
Difficulty receiving love – Rejecting compliments, help, or emotional closeness.
Emotional caretaking – Taking responsibility for others' emotions.
How It Shows Up in Relationships:
Attracting emotionally unavailable partners.
Seeking mother-like nurturing from romantic partners, leading to co-dependency.
Feeling unheard, unappreciated, or unseen in relationships.
The Father Wound: Fear of Trust & Vulnerability
If your father was absent, emotionally distant, overly critical, or unable to provide a sense of security, you may experience:
Fear of failure or lack of confidence – Feeling unworthy of success or struggling with self-trust.
Control issues – Trying to dominate situations or fearing lack of control.
Hyper-independence – Believing you have to handle everything alone.
Struggles with commitment – Avoiding deep emotional intimacy.
Trust issues with men or authority figures – A deep-seated fear of being let down.
How It Shows Up in Relationships:
Attracting controlling, critical, or emotionally distant partners.
Struggling to trust, commit, or fully open up.
Feeling unsafe in vulnerability and deep intimacy.
My Healing Journey: From Trauma to Transformation
I’ve experienced profound childhood trauma that impacted my relationships, self-worth, and ability to feel safe in love. My healing began with Tantra, but when I became a trauma-informed master coach, I went even deeper—unraveling the unconscious patterns that were playing out in my romantic relationships, friendships, and even with my adult children.
Generational trauma gets passed down unconsciously. Our parents, doing the best they could, were also likely raised by emotionally unavailable or traumatized caregivers. Healing is not about blame—it’s about breaking the cycle and creating a new path for ourselves and future generations.
Through deep inner child work, nervous system regulation, and Tantra, I transformed my relationships from toxic cycles to deep, nourishing connections. And this is the work I guide my clients through in my 1:1 coaching programs. You can apply for coaching here.
Breaking the Cycle: How to Heal the Mother & Father Wound
Healing isn’t about just understanding our past—it’s about rewiring our nervous system, reclaiming our power, and learning to feel safe in love.
In the modern world, the three most powerful tools for healing trauma are: Breath, Sound, and Movement. These are also the three core tenets of Tantra, which has been guiding people through deep healing for over 5,000 years. Tantra’s ancient practices are inherently somatic, helping to move stuck energy and trauma through the body rather than just intellectualizing it.
✨ Inner Child Healing – Reparent yourself with love and compassion.
✨ Nervous System Regulation – Release stored trauma from your body.
✨ Shadow Work & Emotional Release – Process suppressed emotions and unconscious beliefs.
✨ Root Chakra Healing – Strengthen your foundation of security and safety.
✨ Somatic Practices & Tantra – Move past intellectual healing into deep embodiment.
Detox from Your Ex: Cord Removal & Energetic Clearing
If you’ve recently ended a toxic or unhealthy relationship and are struggling to fully move on, it’s possible that energetic cords are still keeping you tied to your ex.
We don’t realize it, but intimacy creates energetic soul ties, and even after a breakup, that person’s energy can linger in our auric field, keeping us emotionally stuck. Cord removal is a powerful practice I offer to help clients clear their energy, reclaim their power, and fully step into healing and self-love.
This process isn’t about harming or disconnecting with anger—it’s about freeing yourself energetically so you can attract healthier love and move forward with clarity and peace.
📌 Learn More About Cord Removal Sessions
I also have an in-depth blog post on energetic cord removal, explaining how this practice can help you heal from past relationships and start fresh.
Are You Ready to Heal & Attract Healthy Love?
Recognizing these wounds is the first step toward transformation. If this resonates, I invite you to explore my 1:1 coaching programs, where I guide clients through deep healing, embodiment, and breaking free from old relationship patterns.
📌 Check Out My Cord Removal Sessions
Curious about your own energetic blocks? Take my FREE Tantra/Intimacy Quiz to uncover how your wounds may be affecting your love life.
Healing isn’t just for you—it’s for the generations before and after you. When you break free, you give others permission to do the same.
